Married women experience more stress than single women. They have a huge load: work, parenthood, and marriage. Stressed wives are more likely to experience headaches, fatigue, and anger. Parenting is really stressful as well. Surprisingly, husbands make a greater contribution to wives’ stress than kids do. According to a study, 46% of wives say that children create less stress than their husbands and it’s not connected to cheating or abuse.
NY Searchs wants to tell you how husbands influence their wives and how to avoid negative consequences like stress.
A husband acts like an extra child.
The truth is that men behave like kids until they’re around 43 years old. This is expressed not only in their frivolous attitude toward some issues and in their behavior, but also in their interaction with children. “A 7-year-old is going to be a 7-year-old. But a 35-year-old acting like a 7-year-old is more stressful because they should know better,” said one of the responders during this research.
Most often, dads have fun with their children. As a consequence, fathers are perceived as a friend, a holiday, and an accomplice with fun ideas who allows everything. Mothers are more concerned with issues related to the upbringing, discipline, health, and educational development of a child. Women follow the daily routine of children more, give them instructions, and forbid many shenanigans. Moms, in turn, seem to be the ’bad cop.’ This affects their relationship with their children and can lead to conflict between the parents themselves.
It’s better to stick to unity. If one parent forbids something for a child, then the second one should support this decision. It’s necessary to act together and agree on the prohibitions and permissions they impose on their children.
It’s also important to equally share the responsibility for the daily care of children. A child isn’t able to join the swim team, choose vitamins, and make an appointment with a doctor on their own, but dad and mom can. And here is where a husband can help and ease the load off of his wife. Then the mothers themselves can stop focusing on the mistakes their children make, stop trying to control everything, and sometimes take part in their children’s games with their husband.
Household chores that a woman does become overwhelming.
A study found that one in 5 moms says not having enough help from their spouse is a major source of daily stress. Wives spend more time on housework, while husbands spend more time relaxing. Women’s duties include not only cooking and cleaning, but also paying bills, going grocery shopping, and planning the budget. These activities are very important for the support structure of the family, but they can become overwhelming for just one person.
This isn’t the easiest and most pleasant work. Doing household chores brings both sexes more stress than office work because there they feel more appreciated. If a wife takes care of the household alone, her stress increases.
The most simple and obvious answer is that a husband can help his wife with housework. Equally shared household responsibilities are one of the top reasons for a successful marriage.
Both spouses should appreciate the efforts of the other. Any work is valuable, even if it doesn’t generate income. If the chores are divided in half, they will get done faster and the remaining time can be spent with each other.
A woman feels guilty and lacks free time.
Considering all the duties of wives described above, they may feel like they have a lack of free time. Especially if they also work full time. In the evening, after work, they need to pay attention to each family member and perform all their household chores. This feeling leads to time stress. Women try to do everything in the allotted 24 hours, but due to the rush, mistakes can happen sometimes.
The responsibility for children, a husband, and a household lies with the woman, and she may feel guilty when something goes wrong. Stress can be caused by guilt. One responder said, “I feel like I am figuring out a lot about parenting on my own without the input of my husband. This stresses me out because when something goes wrong, it is all my fault.”
In order for a wife to not stress out due to a lack of time and guilt, a husband can share with her not only housework and child care, but also responsibility for the family as a whole. There are 2 adults, not just one wife. When spouses discuss problems, make decisions together, and are both responsible for them, it helps them to unite and solve many problems.
Women can develop their time management skills. Remember that stress can lead to divorce and have a negative effect on health. Therefore, it’s important to try your best to create less stress in the life of your beloved family.
How are responsibilities shared in your family? Do you experience stress at home? Share your story in the comments.
Preview photo credit By the Sea / Universal Pictures
Illustrated by Leonid Khan for NY Searchs.com