More than 12 million people suffer from partner violence each year. And this number is shocking, as is the fact that abuse is not the only sign of a toxic relationship. Isolation, a sense of fear, and even a feeling of excessive responsibility are signals that you should think twice about continuing to stay with your loved one.
We at NY Searchs will try to help you see your relationship from another side. The main thing is to accept the truth if you recognize yourself in any of these situations. And this will be the first step toward making changes.
1. “There are only 2 of us” relationship
Isolation is one way to tie a partner to yourself. You can feel it if your better half is trying to convince you that “it’s just the 2 of you” and make you feel like you both are against the rest of the world. The fact is that, at first glance, this behavior may seem like a sign of closeness and affection. But things can turn out to be more serious and your partner can be trying to control you in this way.
If you are shielding yourself from the whole world, your loved one becomes your world and they start to think that you completely belong to them. Over time, you can become dependent on your soulmate and your isolation and it will be difficult for you to build relationships outside of this one.
2. “You are nothing!” relationship
You should think about your relationship if your partner constantly insults, humiliates, or threatens you. This behavior can lead to a decrease in your self-esteem and cause you to believe in your worthlessness. And at some point, without noticing it, you begin to believe that you deserve all these offensive words and actions that are thrown at you.
In addition, it can cause psychological trauma and drive you into a depression. And, of course, all this can cause a lot of stress. But that is not all. Emotional abuse can be a precursor of physical violence.
3. “You always make mistakes” relationship
We all make mistakes, but this is not a reason for constant criticism. Your partner can cover up the condemnation of each of your actions by saying that they are just a brutally honest and straightforward person. But in reality it’s an attack, and they enjoy blaming you and have a desire to point out to your flaws. This is how they show their superiority and convince you that they know better.
Criticism reduces your belief in yourself and makes you doubt the correctness of your actions and decisions. You have to defend from the attacks on your personality. Incidentally, this is also one of the main reasons for the breakdown of the relationship and may lead to the development of contempt.
4. “You will do this!” relationship
How often does your partner make you do things you don’t want to do? These may be direct requirements, directions, or prohibitions and can be achieved by manipulation. It is very dangerous because it drives you into having limits and a lack of freedom and you have to make a choice. More often than not the choice is in your partner’s favor.
Your soulmate can hold you to conditions, and threaten you with unpleasant consequences if you don’t please them. Pressure brings on a lot of stress, and most importantly, creates a feeling of powerlessness. It also takes away your sense of freedom and your ability to listen to yourself and your desires.
5. “I’m not sure” relationship
If your partner is constantly changing your plans and introducing uncertainty into your future together, then you may feel like they are playing with you. A partner can do this if they’re afraid of the next stage in the development of your relationship. It may also be an indicator that your better half isn’t sure about your relationship and may be thinking about someone else.
Inconsistency can also be seen in frequent changes in the mood of your partner. This, of course, affects you and can lead to bickering and misunderstandings. You have to adapt and be alert to catch the slightest changes in the mood of your mate and this will make you feel constantly worried. These changes in mood could also be a sign of your partner’s psychiatric disorders.
6. “I don’t care about you” relationship
You invest everything into the relationship, and your partner acts like it’s no big deal. You are trying to solve problems and work on your bonds, but your loved one doesn’t care. Finally, you give your love and affection, and your mate remains indifferent. Does this sound familiar? If your answer is yes, then you may have a one-sided relationship.
The fact is that your partner isn’t really interested in you or in your relationship and takes everything for granted. There is a lack of balance in your joint efforts in maintaining your love. You want to feel the bestowal, but your better half can’t give it to you. Ultimately, will get tired of constantly investing in the relationship while being on the receiving end of cold and indifference.
7. “Can I trust my partner?” relationship
Trust is one important aspect of a relationship. This is what allows partners to open up to each other and be honest. If a person has destroyed your trust, this may make you want to do the same to them. After all, if you were deceived, why can’t you get revenge?
When you suspect your partner of a lack of honesty or if they can’t trust you, anxiety, numerous conflicts, and even depression can occur. This prevents you from having a strong and healthy relationship. And if this continues for a long time, you may develop trust issues that will interfere with you, not only in love, but also in other social relationships.
8. “Where are you, who are you with, and what are you doing?” relationship
Constant control can destroy even the most beautiful feelings and affections. And checking your phone and social networks is not the only way to keep track of you. A controlling partner can manifest themselves in various aspects of your relationship: they can prevent you from being alone, establish bans, and require a detailed report on each of step you take.
All this suppresses you and your freedoms. This behavior may be accompanied by extreme jealousy and paranoia toward you. You may feel that you have nothing personal left and that each your actions is being evaluated by your partner in terms of their understanding and desires, regardless of your feelings, needs, and emotions.
9. “You’re responsible for everything” relationship
Your partner tries to shift responsibility to you for anything that happens in your life together and for your relationship. First, in cases of failure or problems, it’s only you who is to blame and you must correct all your mistakes. Second, the partner shirks any obligations and responsibilities and you have to be accountable for everything.
Obviously, this can negatively affect your feelings and relationship in general. You can constantly feel guilty, lose confidence in yourself and your abilities, and feel a huge burden of responsibility. It depresses and crushes you morally. There are 2 of you and both of you should be responsible, sharing duties and solving problems together.
10. “You may have problems” relationship
You might feel insecure on both a physical and an emotional level. In both cases, these are sure signs that you should think about when deciding whether to continue the relationship. You shouldn’t live in constant fear that a person will use physical strength or harm you. First of all, it can threaten your life, as well as limit you in terms of anxiety about doing something wrong and make your partner angry.
Not experiencing emotional safety is also a terrible state to be in, because you feel that you can’t rely on your partner, trust them, or count on them for support. You may have doubts and disbeliefs in the future of your relationship. The connection between you will eventually break down and you will feel distant from each other.
What other signs of damaging relationships do you know of? Have you ever had a toxic partner? We would like to hear your stories in the comments.
Illustrated by Ekaterina Gapanovich and Natalia Breeva for NY Searchs.com